It is sad to listen to conversations women have with each other on trains, buses and even in after meetings in boardrooms. It seems that men, maleness, and fatherhood have been under siege in American culture for decades. Sadly the feminist movement somehow veered off course from its original aim of helping women achieve equality and ended up making enemies of men. I am a woman, but the fact is that I have noticed the practice of male bashing and husband bashing and it is like a cancer that is happening even in places where you would expect that people would uphold each other. I heard a writer say that men are great! I wholeheartedly agree.
Empower your man by encouraging him to do better, don’t show off if you earn more money than he does, or have a higher education than he does. Help others to see men as your most valuable asset and your greatest form of protection. If you are a female boss, don’t let feminist prejudices cloud your judgement. You can hire great men who can be equally as loyal if not more loyal to you, at times, than some women.
If you are a wife don’t reduce your husband’s standing publicly with demeaning public arguments that embarrass him. If you wish to get the same treatment in return and be treated badly, then knock yourself out and continue your pattern of reckless endangerment to your relationships with men or the man in your life. To women who feel that because they have achieved success, are empowered and feel they no longer need male moral support, I say think again!!! History shows that it has also been because of great men who also walked alongside of women during the civil rights movements (yes there were great men who fought for women’s rights – Men’s League for Women’s Suffrage was a society formed in 1907 by the left-wing writers Henry Brailsford, Max Eastman, Laurence Housman, Henry Nevinson and others to pursue women’s suffrage), that women have actually become more empowered in our society.
Before the women’s rights movement was a thought in anybody’s imagination, men were the builders of empires, the warriors who protected nations, the heads of households and the dedicated bread winners.
Men still say and do great and caring things for others in society and I love this quote: “I learned the lesson that great men cultivate love, and that only little men cherish a spirit of hatred. I learned that assistance given to the weak makes the one who gives it strong, and that oppression of the unfortunate makes one weak.” Who said that? A GREAT man named Booker T. Washington.
I feel that while women need to retain their rights in this world, as women we need to walk a delicate balance in not making enemies of the men who ultimately become their husbands, their bosses and the fathers of children who need strong empowered father figures. Just because women need to protect their civil rights, it should not mean that men are now useless to us. In honor to those men who fought for women’s freedoms in our country and in countries all over the world, I believe it is important to remember how important men were and still remain in our lives and in society as a whole. Ladies with male children especially, need to remember that their boys will grow up to be men and that opportunity, respect and honor is a dream that they would wish for their male children. A male or female child, should never be brought into marital discord. Children should not be privy to disagreements or things that go wrong in relationships. I believe this is an important observation and that we must all try to remember that men MATTER and that in spite of female empowerment in this world which continues to develop and perhaps require more improvement, yes, men do matter and that yes, MEN ARE GREAT!
Sadly, there will be women who will hate men for some reasons or others and I suppose one cannot expect to change feelings and emotions and points of views about men, but one man who has hurt you, or two or three does not necessarily dictate that all men are the same. It’s unfair to draw conclusions about all men, because of something that went awry in a private or personal situation.
I appeal to my sisters in life, my lady friends, colleagues, professional friends and the wives and mothers who talk down to their husbands in public, as if they they are owed much (thank heaven’s I don’t know any personally, other than hearing observations and discussions in public places about female contempt for men), whether you are the female deacon of your church, female pastor, female co-pastor, a female church council district leader, the female CEO of a large corporation, or just a stay-at-home mother, several people in your life whom you love are clearly bound to be men, especially your sons (whom you want loved and respected throughout their lives by both women and men), to be mindful of never diminishing what men represent to you in life by exacting prejudices upon them, about their father and by trashing their father in their eyes, no matter what happens in your relationship with their father. Your sons are watching and your daughters are too and they are not just hearing what you say, they will do as you do. Your sons may learn to mistrust women and fear them. Your daughters may learn to dislike, if not, hate men.
Don’t rear a daughter to dislike men, due to some bitter situation or breakdown in a relationship with a husband, male friend or boss and if you love your husband, your fathers, your brothers and male friends or your male bosses, male pastors, leaders and colleagues. Remember that men still continue to play highly important roles and hold special places in our lives and (as has been in my experience) men, can be, not just our protectors and champions, they can be our greatest admirers and supporters and people who also protect our interests and our rights. There is still nothing wrong with a strong, empowered woman getting a helping hand from her husband, brothers, colleagues or her male friends. Honor all of the men in your lives and someone, someday, down the road will honor your sons and their sons too!
In the end a powerful woman’s greatest weapon, may be the man quietly standing by her who knows she is honorable and loving and extends honor, respect and love to others. He will be the one sticking his neck out to defend her, whether it is expected or not. In life, we get what we give. If we grant love and respect, it will often be reciprocated.
This article was inspired by a conversation with one of the GREATEST male mentors, supporters and friends of all times. He is humble and would not wish to feel singled out in public and shall remain nameless, but I extend a hearty thank you for sharing his personal feelings and views with me on this highly delicate subject. You deserve a pedestal, a title, riches and more for your friendship has been a priceless treasure to me. Thank you my great friend.
Carmen Amoros Goldberg Hosts her own radio program. Visit and tune in at http://www.BlogTalkRadio.Com/NewYorkPodcastingCafe
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